you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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