he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
