After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize