First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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