Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
