I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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