I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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