Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
