the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
