I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
