Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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