Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
