There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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