If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
