K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Screwed.edu
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
