haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
