U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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