my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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