i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
