I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
