she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
