What did we do last night that was yellow?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You are a genius and a whore.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize