Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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