My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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