I hope mine doesn't look like that
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
