It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
