Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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