Sry I called you an 8
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
