if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
