i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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