If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
