I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
