I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
