Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
