We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
