i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
