so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
