It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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