I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
