They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
