dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
