He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
