If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
