once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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