Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize