i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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