I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
