did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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