his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
