He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
