So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
