Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
