If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
