don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
