I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
