So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
