is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
