I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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