I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
