Nicole vs. Life
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
