No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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